I've had my fair share of ups and downs since Riley Kay joined our family. Despite this, I can't help but think that this gig is a heck of a lot easier the second time around. When people ask me if she is a good baby, my response is always yes...and I always say it's a combination of her being truly a good baby but also me knowing what I am doing much more this time.
With Callum I always felt like I was no where near ready to have another baby. The thought was traumatizing and impossible to me. I didn't really warm up to the idea of having a second baby until he was closer to being two.
With Riley I already want another baby! The pain and intensity of labor is still fresh in my mind but I can't help but think about adding to our family.
The other big thing is that I couldn't comprehend sharing and adding my love to another child. I almost felt bad for Callum..in a way. People tell you that your heart just grows...you don't truly comprehend this neat instinct until you have another child. My joy and love has indeed multiplied...and maybe that's why I see how I have room for another child, even now, so soon after her birth.
I also was terrified about having a girl. There are things about girls that do terrify me...most of these things don't come up until many years down the track. For now, I can't believe I was ever worried about buying her cute things and dressing her in girly clothes. She's precious and beautiful.
On a more personal note, this time around has me feeling a lot more self conscious and paranoid about making sure my body returns to what I want it to be. I tend to be really hard on myself so I really should take everything in this area with a grain of salt. However, I won't be content until I reach certain milestones. Said milestones...run an endurance/tempo run at normal intensity with no aches/pains, wear all of my jeans, and lastly but not that important is to lose the remaining 12-14 pounds that I gained during pregnancy. Now for some detail on each. I have already returned to running and hit an 830 mile pace without too much effort, but I'm battling the side stitches that I remember getting with Callum. I remember they went away with time...anxious for that time to come. The jeans thing is showing progress. It seems that each week I try on jeans that I'm getting a little smaller. What can I say? My butt and hips got wider. I don't want to be smaller than what I was previous but I do want to be able to wear my regular old jeans without jumping off of a building to get there. Lastly, I realize that for my height my weight right now at the sixth week is an acceptable and normal weight. However, I've been in the 135-140 weight range for a good 6 or 7 years and have no reason to not maintain that now. Again, I shouldn't be hard on myself. I've come incredibly far in six weeks and truly need to let my body do its thing (and let nursing work its magic).
In summation, my life is so much better now that I am a mother. When I look at my two littles, I truly believe I was given babies that are far greater than me. I'm humbled to call them mine and will do my best to be what they deserve.
Well, we made it through the rough patch of postpartum/newborn world. It's the sixth week and things are on a schedule and most importantly, I'm back to running regularly. All I have to say is Riley Kay is a precious and calm daughter. Here is a list of some of the things that make her my precious little baby. While she does wake up 3-4 times a night still, she simply nurses and goes back to sleep with no effort. She loves touch. She can be comforted simply by having her hand held or by having a good cuddle. Swaddling really works for her. She puts her hands in fists and crosses them over her chest so that she is all snuggled up. She is doing very well with nursing. Other than a touch of thrush, we haven't had any issues. She gave her first smile at five weeks. I was the lucky recipient. She is still a tiny little thing...wearing newborn sized clothes.
I've officially survived the first two weeks of postpartum time. In many ways I feel that this time around was much easier. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I knew what to expect. Blogs and well wishers never tell you about all the tough things you go through after baby comes. Bleeding, engorgement, exhaustion, hormone crash, uterine contractions every time you nurse, the list goes on! Knowing that these things were coming gave me a leg up to cope with it all. It helps that my precious little daughter is a sleeping angel. Seriously.
The first night home was a little rough. She was up every hour and both of us had no clue how to help her fall asleep. We thought we were in for a rough ride. From the second night onward, she has been an angel. She nurses every 2-3 hours without making a big fuss. She sleeps all the time. Like way more than Callum. She loves to be cuddled but can handle being put down to sleep as well. Nursing is going much better this time. I use lanolin much more liberally than I did the first time. I think that has helped with pain. I use some ice packs to get through the engorgement days and pumped as well. Back to her being a sleeping angel, most of the time I have to wake her up to feed on both sides because she is so darn sleepy! She is so much more dainty than Callum. Her limbs are skinny twigs...just like her bappy. By the look of her light brownish hair and color tone of her eyes, I'm guessing we have another blue eyed light hair baby on our hands. I will say that one thing I'm struggling with a bit more this time is my own recovery process back to my normal body. I have no reason to be truly concerned but I'm hypersensitive to being able to wear my own clothes and return to normal workouts. I don't really know why this is...Last week I started with one mile walks and that was it. This week I've upped it to 1.5 mile walks with an arm workout. I'm committed to not running until I reach the 4th week...just like last time. I am hoping that my combination of running and nursing will be just enough to get everything off...I didn't even try last time and lost every pound I gained. I pray that is the case this time. I just need to be patient and not hard on myself.