I will take maternity leave for the last month of school and enjoy summer break.
Come late July, I will be back in the classroom teaching full time.
Truthfully, there really was no decision to make. I never considered staying at home.
Academically, I need to be in school to continue qualifying for my graduate school grant.
Selfishly, I really love what I do.
I am starting to realize that in my culture of middle class, Mormon American norms, I am the exception to the rule. I came from a working mom family. This working mom taught me just as much as crafts at home moms teach their kids. She emulates the example of a true mother. She has set a high expectation for me to live up to. What I take from her is that you can be a working mother and be nurturing, kind, and excellent at taking on the role of the most important job in the world.
There are some major fears associated with returning to work.
I am really nervous about being a nursing mother who has no prep period and a lunch that is less than 20 minutes long. However, I recently learned that there are federal laws associated with providing time during the work day to pump. I don't know how this translates into being a teacher with 7 class periods, but I guess I will figure it out really soon.
I am nervous about leaving little Motorcycle on a daily basis. I have not even held him, but I can foresee how much I will miss him. I even feel a little bit guilty. I know that I am not committing a crime by leaving him, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I am nervous about the fine balance of being a dedicated mother, teacher, wife, coach, graduate student, and runner. How will I do it all and do it well? Does it just come naturally, or does something have to give?