Tuesday, April 22, 2014

the first year

Little Motorcycle is 1 today.  I do not have the words to adequately express the joy and happiness that the last 365 days have brought to my life. 
There have been so many precious moments that I do not know where to start.  

My heart is full.  

I wanted to touch on some of the things that I learned.  things that I struggled with.  things that were precious.  things that were unforgettable.things that gave our family true joy and happiness.

The very first time I held him I had an undeniable feeling that he was mine and that I would love him unconditionally for every second.  I also knew that in the most natural and inherent way that he was my baby.  It was an instant connection with eternal ramifications.

During the short stay at the hospital, I cuddled him in my arms the entire night.  I had no desire to sleep.  I just wanted to snuggle him closer.  This desire to be close to him remained on into the first weeks.

I cannot begin to describe how much I loved his newborn stage.  I look back on those months with nostalgia.  I felt like I was living in a fairy tale.  My perfect little baby had my undivided attention.  

When his umbilical cord came off I was honestly sad.  As he transitioned from newborn diapers to size 1 I was sad.  These and many other milestones marked the rapid growth of my baby.  

When I think back to the nights and around the clock need to nurse, I can only help but miss it.  I truthfully looked forward to the wake up calls.  This was my time with Callum.  I felt honored to be the only one that could be there for him in the night.  Sometimes I would stay on the couch for much longer just so I could be with him.  

One of the first challenges that I encountered was that of independence.  At about three months of age, Callum started to cry to be held all the time.  He wanted to be cuddled and swaddled.  Being in the room was not good enough.  As I went back to work and he started going to Kimmy's, he began to be a bit of a challenge for her too.  She was having to hold him all day.  This lasted until he started crawling in December.  

In August we took a whirlwind trip to New Zealand.  The day we found out Nana died is the day we booked tickets and drove to Tucson for an emergency passport.  Callum as a little four month old got a passport and took an international flight.  He did great.  The bassinet on board worked wonderfully.  He was loved and kissed by all of Jason's family.  They were so happy to meet him.  

From an overall perspective, one of my favorite favorites has been seeing the blossoming relationship between Callum and his daddy.  Jason is beyond a good dad.  He does everything better than me.  That covers bedtime to solid foods.  Jason is the baby whisperer.  Period. And you know what?  I love it.  I love that he loves Callum.  I love that he loves me and that we love Callum.  Our little triangle of love has strengthened our home.  Our temple marriage is the most special thing in the world.  Growing a family from that temple marriage truly is the best thing I have.  It is worth every up and down.  It is worth the tears, frustrations, and sacrifices.  

When I reflect on our first year as parents, all I feel is joy.  It is as if nothing prior to Callum even mattered.  Oh, we lived in New Zealand and did exoctic vacations and ate gourmet sushi on the beach?  Big deal.  I have my own Motorcycle that completes me in every way.  Well, just a disclaimer I always have a hole in my heart about being pulled away from the mother land.  We are forever tied to that beautiful piece of earth.  I digress.

Back to Callum

I love his need to cuddle.  I love how he nestles into my neck when I hold him.  From there he opens his mouth wide and plants a big wet one wherever he can.  Sometimes it is my cheek and other times it is my eye.  He talks more than I ever thought possible.  He points and reacts coupled with his own little language in most situations.  He is growing up like a little brother to his Henling cousins.  He loves them.  

He has a very strange relationship with our humidifier and vacuum.  He is terrified of them but has a constant need to inspect them.  He talks to them, takes toys to them, and sometimes cries at the sight of them.  

Callum is a mild-mannered busy little guy.  He hasn't had fussy days since he was very little.  With a few toys and somebody to talk to, Callum has a very happy day.  His Nana tells us that his character traits are very representative of Jason.  

And where do I even start with his looks.  He has a head of blonde hair that looks like it is quite possibly going to the curly side.  The wildness of it suggests that it is curly or wavy.  He has his two front teeth, which makes him look old.  However, it is a hoax.  He only has budding teeth everywhere else in his mouth.  

I am surprise by this...but he is in the 20th percentile for weight right now.  Not sure how that it possible. He is still in the 50th percentile for height.  Not sure why we have an average kid considering we are both giants.  Sometimes I think those growth charts serve no other purpose than to give moms conversation starters at the park.  

His pretty blue eyes and long eye lashes are dashing features.  He catches the eyes of strangers with those striking eyes.  

He still enjoys story time with his parents.  He loves using his walker toys.  What can I say?  He is perfect and everything i need.  

I loved loved loved this first year of motherhood.  

No comments: