Friday, March 27, 2015

the mom decision

Recently I made a big decision.  
The opportunity to climb the career ladder even higher was opened to me.  The same opportunity was opened to me last year.  

Last year I struggled with my decision.  I originally said no and then succumbed to pressure from others to say yes.  After a few days of saying yes, I couldn't live with my decision.  I knew it was the wrong decision by how my heart felt about it.  I was just uneasy in every which way.  I officially pulled my name.  

This year the opportunity came up again about two months ago.  I was professional and thanked them for even considering me.  I told them I would discuss this decision with my family.  I also said that my same reservations from last year were still the reason I didn't think it was right for me right now.  

Fast forward to the present, and I can say that I have no uneasiness about putting my family first.  The main thought I have is that I won't look back in 33 years and be grateful for putting my career first while my kid (and future kids) are little tiny things.  However, I would look back in 33 years and be grateful that I was available and around my kids as much as possible for a working mom.  

The funny thing is that the usual and normal me would not hesitate to take this career jump.  It is where I want to be.  Something changed after having Callum.  I have just a tiny bit more of a grasp on what is truly important in this world.  While my job gives me so much satisfaction, I cannot say that I have true joy from it.  The true joy in my life comes from my family.  

I know that making a sacrifice for family will be a fruitful one.  It means I get to take Callum to the train park after school a bit more.  It means that I get to enjoy June and July with my baby.  

The moral of the story is that cherishing these crucial baby years will be the best decision I could make.  I truly believe I'll be better in my career because of it. 

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